Manipulations in written communication – by mail or in instant messengers – can be no less wounding than during conversations live. How to recognize typical techniques of “text abuse” and not be played on their games? This knowledge is armed with the victim and disarm the aggressor.
Text messages have become so familiar that for many of us the phone call has ceased to be an acceptable way of communication. Indeed, written communication can be more delicate – the interlocutor always has the opportunity to answer when it is convenient, and think about the correct formulation. But at the same time, messengers provide new options for verbal games and psychological manipulations.
The most difficult thing is when we feel that the correspondence becomes toxic, but the feeling is so elusive that it seems like “there is nothing to complain about”. The best in such situations is to arm yourself with knowledge. For this, the psychologist and expert on working with conflict situations, Christine Hammond classified the types of manipulative techniques in correspondence.
A typical story
Max came up to a meeting with a psychotherapist. The more he tried to maintain relations with his ex -wife and children, the worse the situation. He was advised to use not oral communication, but a correspondence in the messenger in order to make more clarity into communication: establish agreements and receive confirmations, clarify confusion and minimize verbal attacks. However, the ex -wife found a way to manipulate them using text messages. Worse, she taught children this tactic.
Abuez can manifest itself in various forms. Traditionally, seven types are distinguished: physical, mental, verbal, emotional, financial, sexual and spiritual. Previously, the exchange of text messages was not considered as a separate format of manipulative communication. Nevertheless, he can be such. In correspondence, the desire to control, manipulate and harm another may be manifested.
Some features of this type of communication even enhance the effect. For example, since the tone of text message cannot be distinguished, one message can be interpreted in different intonations and values.
29 techniques of https://himshikhaadarshvidyalayabaddi.com/books_guide/10th-class/ text manipulation
Christine Hammond gives 29 examples of manipulative communication in text messages.
No specifics: “You yourself know what you did”. This is a trap for the potentially guilty side or a way to upset an honest person.
2. Refusal to answer questions
When Max asked about something, his ex-wife ignored the messages and did not answer, even when he repeated the questions.
3. Accusations of “misunderstanding of jokes”
The ex -wife made offensive statements: “It seems that this year you have earned much more than you said!” – and then claimed that it was just a joke.
4. Inappropriate sarcasm
And good jokes can be to a certain extent sarcastic, but according to text messages it is difficult to understand what specific comment is: playful, serious, insincere or offensive.
5. Change of topic
During the discussion of a certain issue, the ex -wife of Max sharply changed the direction of the conversation, as if the previous topic was not discussed.
6. Tighten texts
The format of messengers is intended for brief communication, not works in the page. It is much more appropriate to send this volume by e -mail.