Who is the boss to whom: why do we find out the relationship at work

Office is not a place for battles? As if not! All calls from the series “Let’s Live together” are doomed to failure, because in our basic configuration there is a struggle, said psychologist Tatyana Majitskaya. But do we always understand what deep reasons lead to conflicts, and is it possible to minimize them?

Yesterday, peace -lized colleagues today suddenly begin to growl like tigers, although nothing portended aggression. Prepared negotiations in the eyes diverge at the seams, and the contract flies into the basket. At a meeting, for no reason, all those present break into a cry, and then they cannot explain what found on them. Because of which fierce skirmishes arise and how to avoid them?

Psychologies: Can’t you do without conflicts in work? Is it impossible to agree?

Tatyana Mazhitskaya: Well, what are you! Working conflicts in companies where there are at least two people are inevitable, otherwise it is inanimate system. The struggle is laid down in our basic configuration. Most often it is associated with the territory and hierarchy.

Here is a real situation: the sales manager and the project manager come to negotiations. They say to them: “Come to the negotiation, take what kind of cups you want, sit down, where it is convenient”. One took a gray cup and sat on a regular chair. And the other chose a mug with the inscription “I love London” and took the only leather chair. It was a chair of one of the directors, which in negotiations sat opposite (which means the opposition in non-verbal language), and the circle belonged to the head of the HR department, who threw guests with tricky issues.

Negotiations failed. One project manager went to the next meeting, took a gray cup, sat on a chair. The presentation has not changed meaningfully, it was only printed otherwise. The project was accepted: “Well, another thing!”This is what no one ever talks about – you think, a cup, a chair … It is usually believed that conflicts in organizations are associated with powers, resources, terms.

A huge number of conflicts arise much earlier than issuing tasks. We unconsciously, at the level of the animal, consider something to be our territory. When they encroach on it, annoyed and look for where to throw anger.

The office has equipment, furniture – state -owned, even general space is OPENSPEIS. What to share there?

Oh, a lot! The passion of the business for the Openspase, on the one hand, leads to openness. On the other hand, it gives rise to hidden conflicts.

Example: employees of the consulting company drive around the cities, and they do not have their own tables, everything in common. And a specialist of the highest level, with two European diplomas, tells me: “I worked at the table for two months, considered it my own, and suddenly a colleague flew


at night and took him. According to the rules, everything is honest, but I can’t do anything with myself-this guy is terribly annoying me, and I should return a lot of effort in a conversation in a constructive direction ”.

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